July 13: Surf in Arrifana & Kayak in Lagos

Tamara and I didn’t have to be in Lagos until 4:30 so we joined some of the other girls on the beach in the morning.

The boys at the house loaned me a board and Tamara, dear friend that she is, helped me carry my board allll the way down the winding path to the beach.

Ana’s friend, who was also a surfer, told me to follow her out into the line-up. There were a lot of people in the ocean and the waves were not the best. After a little while out in there, I decided to play around with catching white wash and then enjoyed the beach with the other girls.

Tamara and I rinse off, packed our stuff up at the house, and then headed to Lagos.

I love mini road trips with people. It’s a great way to get to know someone.

Tamara is so full of light and love. She was telling me about living in Paris as a translator for years and said,

“You know, I love Paris, but the people are always so…sad.”

I could not stop laughing.

It’s so true! I also love Paris and, let’s be real I also love a good sad day but, 24/7 existentialism can be rough.

Tamara told me about all her finances over the course of her life.

“You’ve have more than one fiancé?!” I said, in excited shock.

“Yes,” she laughed “I love to be in love.”

Tamara is amazing.

Ultimately, it was a good thing she didn’t marry the various fiancés. None of them were good enough for her in the long term or it turned out they wanted different things. I’m glad they were able to discover that before they got married. Now they’re beautiful memories and life lessons.

We reached Lagos and stopped by a grocery store to get some snacks for the kayak trip and then found our meeting place.

Tamara and I met our kayaking guide, Danny, who was a girl and of course, German.

Tamara had never kayaked before but I had faith in her.  

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Until we got in the water. We were so slow and the worst kayaking team everrrrr. But it was still a lot of fun. I brought my GoPro but I must not have cleared my sd card because the pictures were not great. Oh well. 

It was a gorgeous day and we kayaked through caves and around other rock formations. The ocean was clear and the perfect temperature for a swim.

We eventually got to a beach where we had our snack break…..along with every other kayaking tourist in Lagos.

The beach was packed.  

We had our snack, played with some puppies, attempted to snorkel (no fish to see), and explored a small cave.

As we were packing up, we noticed that people were leaving trash on the beach. Tamara and I started trying to take bits of the trash with us in our bags waterproof bags but we couldn’t fit everything.

“This is disgusting. I will never understand littering,” I said to Tamara.

“Exactly. I’m a smoker and I never leave cigarette butts on the beach. How can you claim to love the beach and nature and then leave trash all over it?”

Littering is disgusting. Climate change is real folks and even if it you don't believe in climate change, don't be a dick. Climbs down off soapbox.

We kayaked back through some other caves. It took Tamara and I another 20 minutes to reach the rest of the group back on the shore for the end of the trip. My shoulders were aching but it felt so gratifying when the kayak tour was finished.

We did it! We sucked, but we did it!

After kayaking, Tamara and I realized we had no place to stay in Lagos. We drove to another parking lot to look up potential hostels or hotels but found nothing with any kind of potential so….back to Arrifana!

We heard there was going to be music again, good music that is, and that we could stay with the same group of friends.

We got back to the house, showered, and instantly went to the pizza place.

Let’s see surfing, driving, kayaking, driving....pizza and wine please.


After dinner, we went back to the house to see if one of the other girl (keeping her name confidential) wanted to come out with us. However, her boyfriend, who none of us like for the usual reasons, had disappeared and was treating her poorly. Tamara tried to convince her to come with us but she was too upset.

When we got to the little bar, we discovered that one musician was playing this enchanting fusion of Portuguese/Brazilian/Reggae. Also, Aicha was there! Tamara, Aicha, and I danced and talked about amazing girls and shitty boyfriends. Our friend who was sitting at home crying her eyes out was a fun, sweet, and stunning person. Her boyfriend was a jackass, mean to her, mean to everyone, and a lot older than her (not in the hot way).

Why does this shit happen all over the world?

Realistically, I know this is rooted in self-esteem and self-worth but it doesn’t make it any easier when you see a friend hurting. I know that this can go across all gender identity/sexuality  spectrum, but I’ve seen it so much with women and men.

Tamara agreed, she didn’t get it either.

We talked about moments when we were in the emotion place that our friend currently was,

“I don’t like who I am when I’m heartbroken,” I told Tamara.

“Neither do I,” she said.

We danced all night.